My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize