she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
