Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
