a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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