guys are not supposed to queef...right?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
