I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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