I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
