my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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