The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
i drank out of a bidet.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
