It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
