Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
