so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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