i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
