idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
