Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
