I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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