and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
