i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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