I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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