you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
