Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize