The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
