if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I could fuck to npr.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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