Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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