i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
