Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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