i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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