Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
