Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
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She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
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I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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