yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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