glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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