I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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