Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize