Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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