Whats the glycemic index on semen?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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