I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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