I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
