I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
