Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
