Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
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went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
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The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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