I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
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