I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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