there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
