We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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