saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
