every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
