The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
