Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
