best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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