Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize