Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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