I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
