I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
