We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize