Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
