Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
