Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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