accomplished twins. life is a go
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
