Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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