She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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