so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
