No stitches, just platelets and will power
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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