Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
